1) Google shows an adult content warning when entering your site.
2) Many or most of the books you review are romance oriented and consequently appeal to female readers.
3) Some of the books you review are listed as “erotica” and so the topic of sex is not off the table.
4) Since much of the authored sexual content on your blog is written by women for women, I’m thinking maybe a guy’s perspective about seduction and orgasms might be of interest.
5) I have not gotten a guest post invitation to Psychology Today, so this is the next best place to write about keeping an erection.
A long time ago in a land far, far away a twenty-two year old (almost virgin) Nice Jewish Boy graduated film school, got poor really fast and ended up taking a job directing some of the first hard core films coming out of LA in 1970.
That lad was ME, and I wrote him into a series of novels and named him Irving Podolsky. His trilogy is titled, Irv’s Odyssey.
I’m not exaggerating when I say that I was almost a virgin. For reasons I explained in book one, I had had only one sex-all-the-way romance with my college sweetheart before I ended up telling others how to screw in front of a camera. Well…I didn’t actually direct the sex part. I directed the FILMING part, and while doing that, I watched a lot of professional fornication.
Recording sex on celluloid required at least five minutes of humping and pumping before that final spew, the money shot. And the reason for showing a close-up climax was to prove, at least on the guy’s part, that the sex was real. Throughout the sixties most of the sex flicks were simulated. In fact, in the early days of “modern” porn, simulated sex was mixed with climax sex and many times, with proper film editing, viewers couldn’t tell the difference.
Now you gals in the real world have an open secret. You don’t have to be singing inside to seem like you’re getting off. Dudes, as you know, can’t fake it. Hard is hard. Soft is non-negotiable.
So how do guys keep saluting for fun and profit? How do they keep it functioning to make ladies like sex as much as they do? What makes a man a long-lasting lover?
*****The answer is simple: Real studs avoid It’s-All-About-ME sex.
Or, as the great Persy Sledge belted out in 1966, “When a man loves a woman, he can’t keep his mind on nothin’ else.”
And he better not, because physiologically and sexually, (and I know this from personal experience) if a dude throws all his attention down to his own crotch, (bump-bump, hump-hump) he fires fast. We guys are old-brain wired – get in and out before she gets away.
I once asked porn stud Rick L. how he manages to feel sexy with a camera, lights and eight other people in the room. He said, “Ya gotta block all that stuff out. It’s a mind thing.”
Yep. It’s a mind thing. Start to throb, ignore your rod – that’s the process of staying stiff while holding back your poof!
Here’s a stud’s mind jog.
That’s right, think about her. Watch her twitch. Oops, I’m losing it! Better get back to myself. Okay, pulse is back…but…but…now it’s too fast. I’m gonna cream!
So back to her. Now me. Now her. Me again. Her again. Steady now.
Aahhh! She’s building. Her body tells me that. So is mine. Closer…closer! Back to ME. Back to HER. Closer…closer…closer. Uh uh, NOT YET Junior! No popping off! Reverse attention. Reverse! REVERSE!!
Whoa! Here she comes. GUSH! Now me. SQUIRT! More of her. SPLASH! More of me! OOZE.
Sweat, wet and goo everywhere – it’s the perfect double whoosh, assuming nobody’s selfish. Not that All-About-ME sex isn’t great too, as long as everyone’s playing the same game.
Also, I wasn’t tall, buff and super cute. And since I was competing for sexy chicks orbiting nearby, I figured I’d try winning in bed. I would be SENSITIVE. I would listen to the hearts of those precious damsels and I’d stick around after shooting my load - maybe cook a chicken or stay close in the sack watching TV.
I acted like the perfect husband, and eventually I became a husband, but not so perfect. Who is?
As we all know, all kinds of shit changes once we get married, even though we tell ourselves it won’t happen to us. And then it happens. Six months into matrimony men lose their dreaded concern that their lover, now their wife, will leave if Mr. Penis shoots off first.
He’s thinking, ‘It’s just a little thing, the fast sex. Maybe she won’t mind. I’ll make it up. I’ll rent a movie.’
She’s thinking. ‘He doesn’t care about me like he used to. Or it seems that way. But am I naive? Can sex be exciting ALL the time? Sure. By staying single. Still, when it comes to the really important stuff, he’s there for me.’
And so the candles burn down leaving less of the twinkle. And it’s different now too, and he’s thinking, ‘Guess it’s okay to have me-first sex as long as she’s into too. Right?’
And she’s thinking, ‘I’m still getting orgasms, WITH my husband. I’ll take them before he leaves my bed.’
Now sex is a race.
And even that’s okay, to a point…that point where sex becomes: Been there, done that. The tingle is gone, the adventure vanished, the sexy surprises have all been discovered.
But babies need to be made. Although the sex is still okay, barely, with the clock ticking it’s now a job. And with a growing family comes the pressure of needing more money. Security too. Most attention goes to those goals. And maybe it should. And maybe you, as a mother, are really glad your husband is still your best friend, because when it comes to romance, the thrill is gone, and so is the time for it.
Consequently, not far from your bed, your second best buddy waits for the midnight rendezvous: that sexy novel with the shirtless knight and alluring queen on the cover. And it’s all very predictable and that’s exactly why you want it. Desire – resistance – sex - love, then bliss forever, the elixir for the best dreams ever!
So I wrote that kind of yarn. Sort of.
No, it’s not a traditional romance but there’s sex, adventure, and the girl gets the boy at the end. It’s an odyssey, like life. You can’t predict where it’s going, it’s a little scary and the journey feeds your soul.
What an amazing post from Irving Podolsky! If this is just a tasters of the author's sense of humour and take on sex and maybe a little bit of romance, then I can't wait to start reading.
A HUGE THANK YOU to Irving for taking the time to write such a cracking post.
Now some info about Irv's trilogy:
It takes place 42 years ago in Los Angeles and the southern state of Georgia, where my hero falls into an alternate universe. I mean that literally. Once he steps through a shabby gray bungalow door he enters a shadow society in a psychological space where people who don’t “fit in” come together, explore their sexuality and care for the throw-away souls of our culture.
I described that realm from Irving’s point-of-view. He’s a Visitor from another world, or thinks he is; and he’s taking notes while trying to decide – do human beings actually know who they are and the grand game in which they reside? Do they know they too are visitor’s?
Irv’s Odyssey is also a fictitious memoir told in first person by the fictitious character, Irving Podolsky. Irv is twenty-two, and he wants to make a difference in the world, learn who he is and find…yeah…a nice Jewish girl.
But what Irv finds after four months of post college starvation, is a job directing porn flicks. (Not erotica. Comedy.) The year was 1970, and the Los Angeles pornography business, as we know it today, started only one year before in 1969, as did Irv’s sex life…with a girl he met in psych class – Megan Ribicoff. She was shy. (Which is okay because this story is not about her.)
Irving was not prepared to begin truth-seeking by directing grinding guys and gals. But that’s how it happens when you’re hungry and you answer the phone, fall through a looking glass and can’t get back. After two years though, Irv did escape Sexland, only to drop into an even more bizarre job – this time inside an Atlanta mental hospital for brain-damaged kids, staffed by people-in-transition, people who do not fit in, anywhere, like Mr. Podolsky.
(This isn’t gross or depressing. It’s philosophical…and humorous. Irv discovers the Secret-of-Life in pornography and psychosis, which begs the question: What IS pornography and psychosis?)
BOOK TWO (“To the Light and Beyond”) takes our lad into other realms, like a job for life going nowhere, scorching restaurant kitchens and a trip to Europe where he meets even more people who morph his world.
BOOK THREE (“Seeking the Way Home”) delves into the paranormal and finding that nice Jewish girl. Except she’s not Jewish. She’s German, from Germany, and it’s love at first sight….for Irv, not his parents.
In essence, this series is a modern mythical journey dealing with life’s most basic questions: Who are we? What is real and what isn’t? What is right and wrong? The big stuff.